INDIANS OR AMERICANS...?

An American journalist got infuriated on reading my remark about Americans being called materialistic during an e-mail conversation. I replied back. She replied again. This time her feet seemed very much on the ground! What is your opinion on this?

SABINA, the journalist, replied in a retaliative mood -

"Ah, the great Indian misconception! Having been in a very abusive relationship with an Indian man... and his extremely materialistic family... I can speak from experience. First I will ask you, have you ever been to America? Do you really know whether our society is materialistic or are you making such statements from what you have been told? Second, I will ask you to view your own countries response when tragedy strikes. Does your community band together and help those in need or are certain sects shunned due to classism, racism and the caste system??? Because here in America, those systems have been virtually abolished and we strive to provide equal access to ALL of our citizens. When natural disaster or some other tragedy strikes, the nation bands together to help others. Our nation sends dollars to YOUR country daily in efforts to help those that are impoverished. Are we a wealthier nation? Yes, I would say so, but that wealth was built on strong moral character and hard work and is available to ALL who enter our shores. How is that materialistic?

Here is what I know about India... people are judged by their caste. People thrive to adorn their bodies with gold and other trinkets, so much that they even place dangerous jewelry on infants. (you will rarely find that in America) Most people in India are worried about what their neighbor is doing and they LOVE to gossip about one another and pass judgement. How is that spiritual??? Indians who now live in America and return to visit family MUST bring gifts or it is considered rude and people take offense. THAT in my opinion is EXTREMELY MATERIALISTIC. Here in my nation people who come to visit are welcomed with open arms regardless and no one takes offense if they are not given a gift. I've also learned that Indians spend THOUSANDS of dollars on technical equipment such as I-pods etc and the young adults think that owning such items makes them somehow superior.

So before you ask questions that are based on an assumption, I would suggest you educate yourself about what America is TRULY like and not base your questions on some biased opinion. I'll tell you a little bit about MY life. I have a daughter whom I take full responsibility for. She has NEVER been shoved off on relatives or on another caregiver. She is my 100% priority in life. I do not own an I-pod. I do not own an MP3 player (nor does anyone I know). I do NOT own a wii or any other video game system. I give freely to charities. My neighbors are of various religions. My neighbors are all different colors. My daughter and I have friends that are hindu, muslim, Christian, Jewish, Pagan, agnostic and atheist... we do not regard any one higher than the other. I have worked for every dollar I’ve owned. If I need money, I have at least 20 friends who will give me money no questions asked. I will do the same for them. When hurricanes came through Florida, I filled up jugs of clean water and took it to people who were still without running water. When my water was off from the hurricanes, friends and neighbors opened their homes to me and my child. When a friend is ill, we gather together to cook meals for them. When we hear of human rights abuses in other countries, we ban together to fight such inhumanities. When the hurricanes struck New Orleans, strangers opened their homes to those who had lost theirs. I do not feel judged by my neighbors. If I have a need, I know that there is someone there to help. I have taken in over 100 homeless animals in my lifetime. My daughter and I recently nursed a baby bird back to health and released it, this meant getting up every 2 hours even during the night. (I made no money for any of this). My friends just banned together to collect money for another friend whose husband is in the hospital. My seven year old daughter’s environmental group raised over $100 to save the manatees… much of this was donated by the children themselves. My daughter and three of her friends spent an entire morning cleaning up a stretch of the beach near our house. What are seven year olds in India doing? My daughter just donated some of her clothing to total strangers who needed clothes. My daughter's friend did a charity walk to raise money for PETA. Her other friend volunteers at a soup kitchen once a month. My daughter and many of her friends make greeting cards and deliver them to the elderly homes every holiday. We spent last Easter handing out cards to old people who had no family members. This is only an example of our lives. I am not telling you this to brag... in fact, I RARELY tell people any of the "good deeds" that we do. In America, it is considered rude to tell people. You do charity work from your heart, not so that others will notice. We usually do such things in private. The reason I am telling you is because I know of the misconceptions that other countries, especially INDIA, have about the US. I want to dispel such misconceptions. America is NOT materialistic. I am not sure who is propagating such hatred, but it does nothing for the greater good of the Universe. So before you assume that everyone in the United States is materialistic, you should visit here and see for yourself. It isn’t like the movies that you see. MOST Americans would give their last penny to someone in need. We are an EXTREMELY charitable nation. Does India have a website like care2? It was founded here in America.

I hope you don’t take offense at my reply. I am just being honest. America is NOT materialistic… finding spirituality here and being among like minded people is really easy. There are whole communities (like Care2) of wonderful, loving and connected people. We don’t boast about our faith… again, that is something private. We give, share and worship quietly. But isn’t that how it should be?"

Sabina

MY REPLY TO HER MAIL -

Hello!

"Thank you for writing me the longest letter in the history of my life! I read it and laughed twice, first for my ignorance about America and second, for your ignorance about India. Whatever, this argument is unending and meaningless. This could go on and on forever…..Our real purpose lies in learning the mutually beneficial things from each other. But still, I would like to elaborate from my point of view. Listen...

I have never been to the USA. But we read everyday newspapers, magazines, watch TV channels, websites and talk with people who come from and go to the USA. Moreover, I also like reading a lot of research articles, those which are thought provoking (like the one which you wrote me) and I like to ponder over these things, deeply. What impression of America do we have (at least me)? America is a country where wealth is overflowing, it is more than sufficient, still people are not satisfied... they are planning to conquer the moon and mars …..In spite of this, why are people dissatisfied, restless, discontented. They are hungry for more and more... Do you think having more and more material pleasures makes a man happy? Never… it’s an illusion. For developed nations the graph of wealth, material prosperity is going up and up while the graph of morality is going down and down... The world will definitely agree with me over this... The highest rate of divorce is found in the west, right? When you boast of looking after someone who lives miles away, you people are unable to maintain your own spouse! How ridiculous! People are not satisfied with one partner and there are lots and lots of unethical practices. I remember the president of USA (Bill Clinton) being involved in extramarital affair with someone and this was making big news. How disgraceful! I have seen the advertisements of most vulgar websites, most of them coming from America. Better not to write about that. The highest proportion of alcoholism, drug addiction, child abuse... tell me, where do you find it? I read that more and more people are becoming psychic. I remember having read, someone breaking into a school with a gun and killing innocent children. In which country does this happen frequently? Tell me, where people are found committing suicide in spite of having everything they desired in life, why? Philosophers themselves say that this kind of life is worse than even those of animals! What you wrote in your letter is the bright side of prospering America and what I just wrote is the dark side of degrading America.

How kind of you and your daughter to have nursed the sick baby bird getting up every two hours during the night! Very compassionate and humane, indeed. But you haven’t mentioned how many chickens you (or rather Americans) slaughtered to satisfy your tongue!

What about India here? We have all sorts of charitable works (which you have mentioned) going on here. Have you visited India? And I don’t think that there is anything wrong with wearing gold or silver ornaments on your body (in fact it is better to wear them instead of walking naked or half-naked in public) Look at our family structure, how sound it is. Here, you won’t find obese people and they don’t require sleeping pills for getting sleep!! But… yes, 1/3 of the population here is illiterate, superstitious, half fed and impoverished. (In spite of the fact that the richest man in the world is an Indian) I know, politicians here are very corrupt. I see citizens of India not caring for nature and jungles are being destroyed mercilessly... I also know few selfish Indians who while coming from USA bring with them some electronic items like camera, use them to their fullest, and return them back to the store when they go back saying that they are not satisfied with it. These are some of the things which make me feel bashful.

Now a few words about our spiritual treasure. From your letter, I don’t think that your conception of spirituality is the same as we have. What is that? Spirituality is a science where you try to go beyond the sense pleasures . It is a practise where you try to acquire the mammoth treasure of bliss lying in your own heart by surrendering to the Universal will under the guidance of some able master . The western scientists don't admit the existence of a soul or theory of karma or rebirth of soul etc. We do . You don't have to do special efforts for inculcating the virtues like love, truthfulness, compassion, forbearance, non - jealousy, forgiveness, kindness .... all these traits emerge by themselves . When I come across someone like this , I enjoy some of the best moments of my life .

Ultimately , one has to accept the reality and move on in search of good .

Do you read books ? Who are your favourite authors ?"

..Me!

SABINA REPLIES -

"Ah, my friend. You have caught me in an error. I was so busy defending my country's morals against wrong thinking... that I completely missed the topic of spirituality. I will get to that in a moment......

First, I have to comment on your morals and "family values" that you were touting about India. Again, from my own personal experience... (in case you hadn't guessed from seeing the photos of my daughter...she gets her beautiful skin color from an INDIAN father). So yes, there are SOME Americans who are like that. The majority of those people, however, are folks that have moved here from other countries. India also has one of the HIGHEST rates of AIDS (second only to Ethiopia). That's not a disease of morality. Alcoholism abounds as well. My daughter's great-grandmother (Indian) needed a drink of alcohol every night before bed and she was almost 80!! So, that is my experience. My parents' 44 years of marriage vs. his mother sleeping around with others and his father passed out drunk when you have a child at home to care for????

So you see? This kind of behavior happens everywhere. Fear and hatred, like love and kindness know no boundaries. You are correct, we could argue this argument for days...who is better? Americans? Indians??? So let's take national pride out of it......you obviously are not that way and neither am I. I believe we are kindred spirits.

Now on to the spiritualism question... One of my FAVORITE authors and someone whom I have had the pleasure of meeting is from India....Deepak Chopra. I also like Wayne Dyer. I strive to follow their principles. I also enjoy older forms of philosophy like Kant. I believe that we need to let go of material things...just as you stated. But I also believe that thoughts of superiority or judgmental behavior does nothing for the collective consciousness. There is a very good book by a Native American author called "Miwok Wisdom: "We are all related". This is an excellent book. It gives some historical and scientific reference to the notion that we are all related. I also belong to the Institute of Noetic Sciences...which is a group that gets together to discuss spiritual/philosophical issues.

And you my friend? What types of books are you reading? Tell me what you have learned from the people you know.

Thanks for reading my other long letter and not taking offense at it. I just get so tired of hearing how "materialistic" America is...when it just isn't true. There is a saying in the Bible "In order to see the speck in thy brother's eye, you must first remove the plank from yours".....in other words, we like to see what is wrong with others, yet we fail to see our own faults even if they are much larger. It's human nature...:)

But now that we have moved past National pride (not very spiritual)...perhaps we can learn from each other..."

Have a good day. See you!"

Sabina