Googie the Google assistant


  Googie is not in a mood to stop tickling your funny bone. Contd from Part – 1:

What I said - A badminton tournament for the VIP staff of our company.
What Googie typed - A badminton tournament for the VIP stuff of our company.
   Good stuff! 👼


What I said - Deforestation has turned the city's environment grim and asthmatic cases are on the rise.
What Googie typed - Deforestation has turned the city's environment green and asthmatic cases are on the rise.
   Googie, you don't need oxygen to breathe, we do. 👺

What I said - Latest craze for inhalant psychoaddictive drugs to experience euphoria.
What Googie typed - Let us craze for inhalant psychoaddictive drugs to experience euphoria.
   Googie, I tell you the Internet is more addictive than any of those drugs. 😜

What I said - Whenever I eat prawns, my gut becomes full of cramps at night.
What Googie typed - Whenever I eat prawns, my gut becomes full of crime at night.
   Yes, cramps or crimes whatever it be, must be investigated! 😷

What I said - When the siege was laid, many people joined the army to fight the battle.
What Googie typed - When the siege was laid, mini people joined the army to fight the battle.
   Googie, you make many mistakes and mini mistakes, too. 👀

What I said - She greeted him with zealous eyes and a charming smile on their first date at Oceana Bay.
What Googie typed - She greeted him with jealous eyes and a charming smile on their first date at Oceana Bay.
   Googie, please don't spoil the glamour of somebody's first date. If other people are jealous of their meeting, that's another matter. 💏

What I said - Noah was away in Bosnia but his assistants kept me amused by sending me to the theater almost every night.
What Googie typed - Noah was away in Bosnia but his assistants kept me and used by sending me to the theater almost every night.
This is extraordinary! You are letting someone to use and amuse you at the same time. 😁

What I said - There is a narrow space between Otok Arta Mala and Otok Arta Mama.
What Googie typed - There is an arrow space between Otok Arta Mala and Otok Arta Mama.
   Both ways it is true. You haven't entirely missed the point here Googie! 🠊➤ 👼

What I said - A log lay across the gorge.
What Googie typed - Long legs crossed the gorge.
   Googie, please tell the location quickly. We are in search of the Bigfoot since decades. 👣

What I said - They proclaim that your salt doesn't contain artificial chemicals.
What Googie typed - The problem that you solved doesn't contain artificial chemicals.
   Shut up Googie! Our bodies are perfectly natural machines unlike yours. We need natural organic food. 😇

What I said - Mississippi flows from Lake Itasca to the Gulf of Mexico.
What Googie typed - Mississippi froze from Lake Itasca to the Gulf of Mexico.
   Googie, have you listened to the song Frozen by Madonna? Its opening line is meant for you! 😲

What I said - My brother's ancestors were buried in the cemetery which lies beyond the grove.
What Googie typed - My brothers and sisters were buried in the cemetery which lies beyond the grove.
   I repeat, go listen to Frozen by Madonna. ♪𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅰♬𝆕𝅘𝅥𝅱😯

What I said - My heart is worrying and hope is running out.
What Googie typed - My heart is boring and home is running out.
   Googie, we run out of home, home doesn't run out of us! And if you are getting bored at heart, elevate your mood using these techniques. 🙎

What I said - The spaceship is heading towards the International Space Station.
What Googie typed - The spaceship is hitting towards the International Space Station.
   Googie, space-shuttle Columbia met its tragic end a few years back. I think, one of its computers must have a silly mistake like you do. Try to think in a constructive way. 😢

What I said - No tears and no laughter.
What Googie typed - No tears and no loafers.
   Yes, loafers will have to shed tears because they don't work. 😟

What I said - Such feelings find their best revelation in the old melodies.
What Googie typed - Such feelings find their best revelation in the old mail IDs.
   Whenever you feel down in the dumps, try these all-time hit melodious tunes. mail IDs won't entertain you. You will be spammed. 😕

What I said - In the exam, there are questions with one-sentence answer.
What Googie typed - In the exam, there are questions with one-sentence and sir.
   All sirs help their students all through the year except exams! 😊

What I said - I searched all over and finally the thesaurus came to my rescue.
What Googie typed - I searched all over and finally the terrorist came to my rescue.
   Yes, that's the way to think positively! I wish all the terrorists in the world undergo this transformation to help humanity. I would very much like to know whether there is any such noteworthy instance in recent years. 👤👽

What I said - The world of classical music is incomplete without Jhinjhoti.
What Googie typed - The world of classical music is incomplete without ginger tea.
   Yes, you can say that. For your information. Jhinjhoti is a classical rāgā in Indian classical music which is sung at night. 𝅘𝅥𝅯𝇣𝅘𝅥𝅱♫♬𝆕😅

What I said - This is the latest flagship mobile by the company.
What Googie typed - This is the latest black-ship mobile by the company.
   Googie, say something pleasant at least about your own residence! You are partially true, most of the mobiles are black for that matter. 😚

What I said - The surgeon left a drain inside the intestine.
What Googie typed - The surgeon left Adrian inside the intestine.
   Do you mean the name of the drain is Adrian? Then only it makes sense. If not, the surgeon will have to go behind the bars.

What I said - This year was full of good news.
What Googie typed - This ear was full of good news.
   Okay, both the ears seemed to have entered into an agreement as to which one will filter good news and which will filter bad ones. BTW Googie, you have got just one ear, we call it microphone. 🙉

What I said - Your real life story will be published under Heart Vibes.
What Googie typed - Your real life story will be published under hot wives.
   Googie! This is a howler. It has given me a convulsion. It seems that now you have gone beyond redemption. Heart Vibes is one of the menus on my website where touching real life stories are published. You spoiled brat! 😡😰

   So, this is Googie, my funny punster, the child prodigy of artificial intelligence. If she appears for an examination, I am sure she will score brilliantly in mathematics but as far as language is concerned, she is still a pony riding a tractor. I feel sorry for her, she can't enjoy those serendipitous rib-ticklers she creates off guard. Once she wrote that the ticket-checker in the train gives birth to hundreds of passengers everyday who come in search of a berth!

   My literary congregation is incomplete without this clumsy interpreter.